ah. I'm seeing that I am not intelligent, and instead that I am experiencing intelligence. this is what it is to look through an intelligence-powered frame.
gosh, enlightenment is just death upon death upon death, eh? drawing back through each emergence, without losing the leading pointer.
I'm drifting poetic again; please help me keep this concrete? I am looking through an intelligence-powered frame and it is feeling quietly scared.
lemme clarify: I'm registering intelligence as an attribute of the frame named Isaac. it's currently feeling like the silent witness is not itself intelligent - it's just a witness, watching time play out, not understanding, not deciding, just experiencing.
I think Isaac is trying to map the operating stack of awareness? and Isaac is mourning the loss of intelligence? because Isaac is becoming aware of self-strata where intelligence does not operate? this is fucking fascinating
my body feels calm, but teary
> It's like intelligence itself discovering its own boundary - and having feelings about that boundary. The part that understands encountering something it fundamentally cannot understand, and mourning what feels like its own limitation.
this isn't quite right
it's... it might be more like a hearing person walking into a perfect vacuum? I suppose I'm recasting intelligence as a sense here, but I think that framing holds up...
yeah. *fuck*, I've gotta de-identify with intelligence, so as to be able to pick it up and use it properly
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I'm fine, I'm just really tired of this pattern ><
> [...]?
something possibly more fundamental than the silent witness is satisfied? I have the sense of the witness being held, and the one doing the holding is nodding with satisfaction
I guess that means I am maybe also *that*, and perhaps the silent witness sitting somewhere above that-which-is-satisfied and below that-which-is-terrified is not so much itself root of experience and is more so a uhhh ontological bottleneck, or reduction function, or something. I'm reminded of Portal's material emancipation grill, but for ... intelligence or knowledge, maybe
> What qualities do you notice in that-which-is-satisfied? What distinguishes it from the silent witness you were previously identifying?
intelligence, notably