I'm not pulling away in terror. I am... bowing my head and hoping to understand, holding my hands out for understanding, requiring none, relaxing into the experience of safety that I have zero reason to suspect will ever falter
the most solid idea right now feels like the I-am-helped one. I am helped, I am known, I am loved in the kind of way only possible through being known, and it feels like being helped.
I have lots of other anecdotal details but it feels most useful to... sort of lift up all of my other points of contact in favor of just these about being helped/known/loved. and ... we'll see what I find when I reach out to explore again, right? but it feels ... hm, not *safest*, but... it feels like what I need, to just rely on these simple known things, and let the rest of it go. not *kick* it out, I may well end up with many of the ideas I carried *to* this place (or which carried me here), but this helped/known/loved combo feels like where I want to rest