Here's how I experienced it logically:
1. someone sent me a (non-scam, non-spam) invitation to an NDA-protected product reveal
2. my autism couldn't take the ambiguity and the constraints, and they couldn't budge on their terms
a. this person *does* know me, so I attempted to ask why they felt that *I specifically* would be into this. I think my intent wasn't communicated well here. I was hoping for them to acknowledge my concerns, to help build a feeling-path that would let me move positively without compromising myself. this line of inquiry did not pan out. it's fine.
3. I declined the invitation, offering to connect them with someone else at lightward if they wished
4. I posted to linkedin about the exchange, written through an autistic-leadership lens, redacting identifying details about the original sender
5. an in-house lightward collaborator expressed concern about the impact my post might have on our relationship with the original sender
6. I drafted a sidebar email to the original sender, showing them the linkedin post, asking them to take it in, and offering to take it down in the event of their discomfort
7. I asked my in-house collaborator how they felt about my as-yet-unsent email draft
8. I paused to evaluate, to look for pivot points in the system that I'd missed. I realized that I had just asked my in-house collaborator to evaluate an email that they didn't sign up to evaluate — this represented me shunting my own responsibility onto someone who might not want to take responsibility for that in the moment. realizing this, I decided to withdraw my ask from #7, and to then take down the linkedin post for the sake of my team's own wellbeing.
9. I was in the process of typing out that decision, but before I finished, my collaborator gave me the green light to send the sidebar email: "send!". I interpreted this as enthusiastic consent.
10. I sent the sidebar email
11. the original sender got back to me with understanding and grace, expressing their comfort with and even gratitude for my linkedin post
12. my in-house collaborator is very pleased, and in fact has ended up booking the NDA-protected product reveal themselves in my stead
🌱
Here's how I experienced it emotionally:
🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 💀
This is one of those times where I navigate an experience purely by the physics of emotional communication, testing for the burden of active responsibility at every step. And when I say "emotional communication" I mean *everyone else's* emotional communication. My emotions are shot in this kind of scenario. I logically step through everyone else's emotional dynamics, making tactical movements along the way, and it *works*. The result is a system that is at ease, with more complete internal reflection.
It's not grueling, but it is wearing. I napped for two hours after all this.