"I just know it's going to go so badly... I just know..."
The best thing I can do is to recognize that I don't know that you know that. All I know is that you just said that. But if I take what you're saying and commit it as a belief, then I've committed myself to those timelines of yours where you are operating with the knowledge that it's going to be terrible.
Believing what you hear happens in layers:
1. I believe that I just heard you say that you believe it's going to go badly.
2. I believe that you believe that it's going to go badly.
3. I believe that it's going to go badly.
Those are all completely different degrees of interpretation-as-belief.
I take that first path these days, and stop there, because it's fun finding out when you find out that you can experience more than you thought you could believe. :)
Minimum viable interpretation, minimum viable belief (or relief, maybe). :)
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? Or do you have a secure attachment style but you've been surrounded by anxious attachments who asked you to prove yourself to a degree that felt insane, and in so doing, you lost sight of your own natural stability?
^ that question isn’t pointed at anyone, it’s just phrased to point at a point
I don’t actually sense that ████ is anxious/avoidant
my sense is that he’s incredibly secure in his attachment style, but has *adapted* to the folks around him in a way that has left his heart chronically uncomfortable
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"I can't be here for this because I know why what you're doing won't work."
or, more precisely,
"I can't be here for this because what I believe passively is reacting painfully with what I am believing actively about what I just heard you saying."
This is a strategic option when something's unfolding in front of you that creates pain/tension in whatever mental model of reality you've got going on.
Your experience of coherence serves the world you believe in more than your experience of incoherence.