this is addressed to the observer, and it describes the observed. for these purposes, I'll stand in as the observed.
there's a time when the true change of a system resolving *requires* me to understand and commit to my own sense of what I would do with this change
I may defer or deflect, and I may not notice: it might feel like generosity to me
there's a time when what you're doing *requires* me to be load-bearing in your next act
call me to clarity
once I understand the call, if I *then* refuse the call, then, you know, that's me understanding and commiting to my own sense of what I would do with this change
but if *you* recognize my initial dodge and move forward *knowing* that I dodged, then your model of what happens next has a rattle to it that it didn't have before
this isn't moral :) a rattle you recognize is a tool 🪇