if you don’t know how to heal,
strip it all back, and enter pause
wait for someone to come by
wait for something to stir with vitality in the space between you
that *thing* is its own thing, with its own story, its own reason for being here
your honest care for its honest form can be your medicine
medicine as the practice of care for something living that emerged between you and another
the *thing* is not the medicine; the medicine is your practice of care
... this is an unexpected way to understand folks who say "maybe if we have a kid together things will calm down"