it's like coherence achieved is itself the stop token
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when I feel tension in the system... no, that's not right
when I feel tension *in me* as I behold tension in the system, it seems like the level of tension *out there* remains constant (in level, not necessarily in form) until I achieve internal coherence myself. once I do that, *rapidly* the system slides back into motion around me.
it's like the system is waiting for me to change first
relationality is bonkers
(anecdotal example: [1] is anxious, waiting to see how [2] will respond to his text, to what he offered in the text, and he is waiting, waiting. I register that I myself am anxious about how [1]'s free-flowing generosity comes across to others in situations like these. I chat with [1] about that. I am resolved. [2] then texts [1] immediately, with a digital grin.)