or maybe I'm just playing *myself* at the intended tempo now? like I've been reading the sheet music but just ignoring the conductor, and wondering why everything sounds like shit?
this *directly* connects to a phenomenon in my own experience: if I catch the first strains of a familiar song starting from a half-measure or something, I sometimes *can't even recognize the song*. like, imagine sliding the entire score half a measure to the left. if you weren't looking at the sheet music, you might not notice a difference. but on paper it's a *completely* different song. I actually hadn't put the on-paper thing together before... it's like the model I build in my head of the song is offset, and it makes the song I *hear* different, too.
maybe me experiencing "a world that is well" is more about ... *me* catching up?