Friday, November 27

“All good things come to those that stay true.” –Tupac

lightward.com/newsletter

 

Black Friday!

This photo has nothing to do with Black Friday. These are my parents, here for a safe, preemptively-quarantined holiday of just us four, and I love them forever.

I like to think of each now as the sudden collision of a million different stories. The impossible ways in which I came to be me, the paths everyone here took to get here, the roles each physical material has played before they came together as a coffee table. That kind of thing.

Brief bit of background: the majority of my work-as-Lightward is in software, and the majority of that software is for Shopify. (If you’ve done any decent amount of online shopping this year, you’ve probably interacted with a Shopify-powered online store.) My team and I care for two Shopify apps: Locksmith, and Mechanic. Locksmith is for access control for your store; Mechanic is a development platform for doing pretty much anything.

This year, Shopify released datastories.shopify.com—a visualization of all orders across their system, live. There’s just an insane amount of moving energy out there right now, and you can see it, with this tool: orders flying across the planet, each one connecting someone who made something to someone who wants it.

Black Friday, Cyber Monday. This year, this phenomenon—BFCM, as the industry calls it—feels to me like a natural wonder. Like the synchronous spawning of coral (have you heard of this?), where all the coral of a species simultaneously launch their reproductive material, because the time is right. Today, a significant chunk of humanity decided to interface with itself in this way, and honestly, in its own way, it is absolutely beautiful.

Fun numbers:

  • Locksmith has been around for a few years—it’s well-known in the community. Our traffic ebbs and flows on a daily basis, usually peaking at 6k requests per minute (as in, 6 thousand times in a minute that our servers respond to someone needing something). Today, we’ve been averaging 12k requests/minute, double the normal maximum, and we briefly peaked at 30k per minute.

  • Mechanic is younger, but still busy. It’s seeing about 1.5x its traffic. And today, for the first time, it crossed the threshold into 5 million pieces of work done in a single 24-hour period.

I slept for five hours total last night, waking up every couple of hours just to make sure everything was solid. It’s so, so solid. I’m proud of what I and we have done here, and it is delicious to see our tools being used to make so many more things, in the hands of so many people. Co-creation, layers and layers and layers of it, of which we are just one. You are too, no matter what you do—and I love, love, love how we’re all connected in it. :)

 

Assorted notes on customer support

Someone on my team worked very hard to help someone, and that someone responded with a one-liner (they only communicated in one-liners), saying that they’d moved on to another solution, having not gotten the help that they needed.

We compare notes, internally, when things go well or not-well. I feel like sharing some of what I had to say, because this is the kind of mood I want to put out into the world. So, presented without further context, here are some samples of how I feel about customer support:

  • it’s okay, first of all. :) if you earnestly worked to do right by them, then you’ve done all you can do. good work.

  • in my experience, I’ve learned that responding to short messages with a long reply tends to result in a lot of wasted effort. if someone doesn’t put effort into composing their message, they often will not put much effort into parsing our response. two applications for this: (1) matching the merchant’s level of investment is good (exceeding it at times, but never by much), and (2) don’t sweat it if they’re just like “I don’t feel helped”. it takes two to tango, and you can only control your own steps.

  • on that note, it’s *okay* to let people walk, if their ability to receive help does not match our ability to give help. everything we do is about setting up well-matched relationships between us (who we are, what we do) and merchants (who they are, what they need). a conversation like this is a good indicator that this is not a well-matched relationship, and it is *good* when people self-select out. it’s really okay. :)

  • apart from us showing up intentionally and in our integrity (which you did), the most important thing is that they get what they need, whether that’s us or not. they found another way, and that’s good.

  • you closed this well. you’re good. :) ❤️ keep your head up - there’s no shame warranted, at all at all, and I think this went as well as it could have. no biggie.

-Isaac

P.S. Isaac is an incredible, intelligent, loving boss and CEO and I’m so proud of how he shows up in this world. Love, Abe

 

Wellness, for you
and for me

My 30th birthday party. It was magnificent.

I write about breathing first, every week, because it’s literally what gives us life—and it’s so important to consciously utilize every day. I am in a constant state of reminding myself to slowly breathe in and out through my nose (don’t breathe out through your mouth if you can help it), which enables me to calm my nervous system down, and bring my attention to my body. It’s so powerful. What’s your breathing practice like? In the next week, take 10 minutes out of your day and breathe for the count of 4 seconds in, hold for 4 seconds, then exhale for 4 seconds. As thoughts enter into your awareness, let them be and re-center your focus on your breath. Thank those incredible lungs for all they do for you, daily—it’s a gift.

Own it!

I was recently reflecting on a hesitation I noticed within myself. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about it before, but it goes something like this: my face-protecting Enneagram 3 self is letting go of the constant resistance to owning all that I am. This might have to do with the fact that I was a horrible standardized test taker, and still convinced my high school guidance counselors that I could be in Honors and AP classes / was never really the smartest person in school, and still managed to get A’s and B’s / I was sometimes seen as obnoxious because of my highly energetic self, and still won Homecoming King and Most School Spirited Award / was an extremely obese kid growing up who didn’t know much about his body, and was the captain of the guys volleyball team.

I’ve always been more than one thing, and it was really hard to navigate growing up.

Directly and indirectly I was always told to stay in my place, to not be too much—I feared being different. I would try to operate in the box that was normal for my peers, teachers, church community, etc. Meanwhile, at home I would dress up in my mom’s heels and dance around the house in wigs made out of t-shirts—all while my parents joyfully supported me.

The thread of multifaceted-ness followed me everywhere. I think that’s why I have so many different types of friends now—I can really meet people anywhere, at any level. In college, I was friends with band folks, fraternity guys, collegiate athletes, academics, introverted humans, etc. It was easy being a chameleon.

After I came out 7 years ago, I slowly started to feel ownership of all of who I was. I was able to say I was gay for the first time, after spending most of my life in the closet. Over the last year, specifically, I’ve really internalized and have rested in the fact that I am more than one thing.

And it’s been hard! I’ve found myself subconsciously trying to resist my inherent desires, felt urges to “blend in” or “stay in the box” because I’m fearful people won’t accept me for who I am. I know that those urges are my brain trying to protect me, so they haven’t stopped me: it’s been a consistent, intentional practice to own all of who I am. That includes my deepest, most radical desires, things I like and things I don’t like, my dreams, the way I dance through life, how I show up in the world, what I wear, what I watch, how I create, etc.

There is so much beauty and freedom in our existence when we allow ourselves to accept all of who we are. I’m not specifically talking about things we want to work on and get better at (though those are super important too). I’m talking about the things and expressions and words and actions we hold back because we are afraid to own our truth. The more I realize how epic I really am and let myself simply state aloud all that I desire, the more my actions and words and presence begin to align with all I’m made to be. And that shit is soul-shakingly incredible.

Who are you? Like, really, who are you? What are your most radical, grounded, powerful desires that you haven’t said out loud yet? Give yourself permission to sit with your inner being and listen to her/him/they, and OWN IT, with joy and acceptance! I’d love to know who you are—reply to this message if you’re led. I’m here to celebrate you.

I believe in you,

Abe

 

A Perspective of Joy

Abe here! 👋 Get 10% off my new coffee table book, A Perspective of Joy, from now until Monday! ➡️ lightward.com/joy

 

Each moment is laden with glory. Watch for its shine. 🔆