Hello from 37K feet. It feels surreal to be on an airplane again. I’m grateful for being fully vaccinated and to be on our way to see our family and friends in the midwest! X I’m an extroverted human. I love being around people. With some of my closest friends, I sometimes fall asleep on the couch when we are all hanging out late into the night when everyone is still sitting around chatting about life over some wine. We got to hang out with some friends this past week, our first in-person-all-vaccinated-hang-out since all of this started last March! I LOOOVED it. Loved loved it. It felt mostly normal. I’m definitely still adjusting to being around people. But, it was so lovely. We packed up our bags last Friday and hit the road on a two-day road trip from Denver to Laguna Beach, CA. It felt really great to get on the road, see new areas of the country we had yet to visit, like Las Vegas and Utah! It brought back memories of past travel experiences, and it was really incredible how alive it made me feel. My brain desires stimulation like new scenery, sensory experiences, smells, etc, all of which helps my brain be more creative. I’ve been thinking about how the energy I have for certain things and relationships vastly varies depending on the circumstance. After a year of being primarily with myself (and Isaac, thankfully), I’m listening to what I want to spend my very precious, gorgeous, valuable energy on. For most of my life, I leaned into my 3w2 energy, always wanting to help others and use my energy for other people instead of taking care of myself. I never strengthened the muscle of listening to what I actually wanted to spend my energy on—I kind of automatically just assumed I need to do X and give my time to Y because “it was the right thing to do,” even if my energy wasn’t fully and authentically invested in said experiences and people. The healthier I get, both internally and externally, the more I’m leaning into my 3w4 personality—caring about achieving what I’m here to do while also listening to and honoring my unique thoughts and feelings and ways of expressions that want to emerge. It’s all new, this way of being, but I’m giving myself permission and space to explore what it all looks and feels like. I’ve found, so far, that I’m able to give from a better place and honestly, I’m just happier overall. My boundaries are getting stronger and I’m noticing more room to explore the things that I want to explore, without asking others for permission first. For example: we signed a one-year lease on a cottage in Laguna Beach, to experiment with splitting time between places, to see if we enjoy that type of lifestyle. This has been a dream of mine for YEARS and the stars aligned and everything truly lined up to land this spot. From connecting really well with our landlady, to beating out 3 other applicants to get the place, to being a 2 minute walk away from really good tacos (and a whole-food/healthy restaurant!), to finding a place where some of our closest friends live close by—it’s all honestly perfect. Two years ago I would’ve been so anxious and in deep need for approval of my friends, before chasing after something that I was really excited about. It’s the Enneagram 3 in me—I care about my reputation, and in the past, I sometimes didn’t let myself explore what I wanted to explore without getting permission from others. I’m excited for the rest of the year, especially the summer (hello shirtless, short-shorts-wearing-Abe-who-is-about-to-come-out-and-play), to keep exploring where and what and who fills me up with beautiful energy and giving myself permission to truly continue creating the life of my dreams. I’ll leave you with these questions to think about: is needing permission from others to live out your wildest dreams holding you back? What do you need to do in order to free yourself up from the box you’re living in, if you feel like you’re living in one? Are you aware that you have a W I L D amount of power and joy and love inside of you that wants to be expressed? I hope you remember your power this next week. <3 If you need a reminder, hit me up (truly). Also, shamelesssss plug—if you want to keep exploring what it looks like and feels like to live and empowered life, consider joining Lightward Together! We talk about subjects covered in our newsletter more in depth, surrounded by an amazing group of humans from around the world who are lifting themselves and each other up. I believe in you! Abe
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