// Circles // Your relationship to “more” // $$PLAIN_TEXT_PREVIEW$$

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Friday, April 16

lightward.com/newsletter

 

Circles

I picture Lightward as a circle. (Or an amoeba, on a microscope: it’s got form, there’s a line, it’s round-ish, and it is singular, defined.) Everyone who’s a part of this thing comprises the circle. Everyone here contributes to its health, while caring for their own. In turn, that-which-is-the-whole cares for the health of those within.

I picture more circles, inside. Sometimes concentric, sometimes overlapping. Everyone who works on Locksmith operates as a part of that circle. Everyone who works on Locksmith support operates as another circle, further in. Lightward Together is a circle. Empowered Human Academy is a circle. Some people stand in several circles, and there we find the overlap.

But—and here’s the thing I realized today—we each ourselves form our own individual circles, distinguished and delineated by the way we uniquely interact with what’s around us, and others can join those circles too.

Abe’s role is singular. He talks to about fifty people every day, he dreams about what we all might do this time next year, he creates beauty in like ten different mediums simultaneously, and he runs point on travel/social logistics. These are all behaviors that are organic, are natural to him, and we’ve all come to rely (directly or indirectly) on the way in which he is here, the things he consistently does. And that consistent way of being here defines a circle that—for now—is a circle of one.

We’ve been talking for a while about hiring someone to sort of functionally serve as Abe’s assistant but also be a sort of creative director and also sort of interact with everything. Today, I found better, less hierarchical, more inviting language: we’re hiring someone to step into this circle Abe has made, and make it a circle of two.

The language of circles expands my own ability to describe how this whole thing works. (I know how it works, but that knowledge is before language.) The circles are things I can visualize, and they suggest more language that fits the domain:

Not authority, but weight. You are not more important than me, but you may know more than I do. I am not more important than you, but I may spend more time here, may be more connected to the space.

Not control, but emergence. You do not determine my steps, but I may choose my steps differently when I see how you move. I do not determine your future, but you may find inspiration in the vision I share.

Not achievement, but presence. There is no promotion, but you may find that your stance has shifted, and your reach has changed. I need not perform, but for the joy of the movement.

Not titles, but persistence. The way in which you are here is understood, and will be similar tomorrow, and the day after. But please note the inherent contradiction: you are alive, and the way in which you are here will be different next year.

 

Wellness for you, and for me

Hi hi hi, my fellow breathing friend. Here’s your weekly reminder to return to your breath. It’s such a powerful thing. This next week, try slowly breathing through your nose for 2-5 minutes, while laying down, before you go to bed. I’ve been practicing this recently and it’s allowed me to really sink into sleep so easily. I use the Calm app for this practice, but you don’t need an app, you simply need yourself, and your breath. And taking time to breath before bed can help with your body’s recovery overnight. I’m fascinated with the data I’m getting about my body, as I use my Whoop band every day. So far, breathing before bed has increased my HRV (Heart Rate Variability) and has increased my overall recovery after workout days. This is 100% not an ad—I just use my Whoop band all the time to gauge where my body is at! Anyways, try breathing before bed, and let me know how it goes. X

Your relationship to more

I like to dream. I also like getting shit done. I live in both of those paradigms really effortlessly. This past year, I’ve been on the getting-shit-done-train—I’ve grown Lightward Empowerment and my coaching practice, have mentored university students from around the world, been a keynote speaker more than once—it’s been a really packed year for me. I’m so grateful. In large part, the time being packed is what saved me this past year. I’ve gotten to slowly build and grow something I’m excited about while staying at home and being an extreme extreme EXTREME extrovert in an introverted time.

I’ve been able to really give myself space to be alone, away from everyone other than myself. That has been hard (EXTROVERT) and it’s also been really liberating. I’m a hyper-aware person, I can read energies in a room, sense if someone is feeling out of place (which is my cue to put on my camp counselor hat and help them feel included), and my gut is almost always right about a situation or a person. Historically I really didn’t realize how awesome that natural ability was. It also really limited me—it used to mean that I was always at the mercy of other people’s opinions of me. Maybe because I grew up in a Christian church as a gay human and always had to hide my sexual identity in fears of being rejected or going to hell. Or maybe it was because I thought that, if I didn’t fit in, I would be left behind somehow? Or maybe it was because I knew if I didn’t advocate for myself to be in honors classes, my standardized tests would automatically land me in regular classes where I didn’t belong.

I was always hyper aware of how I fit in the world, or how I didn’t.

And because of that, I always had a fraught relationship to “more.” I knew that if I didn’t do more (i.e. advocate for myself to be in honors classes), I’d threaten my potential to get into the colleges I wanted to attend. It always felt like this push and pull of wanting more, but oftentimes being told (directly and indirectly) that I couldn’t have more. And, sometimes, that wanting more was bad by itself. Either way, I somehow knew that if I didn’t go after that “more,” then no one would do it for me.

And while I’ve done that my whole life, in multiple areas of my life, I realized that my relationship to “more” often originated from a place of scarcity. From a place of running away vs. running towards. And while I’m so freaking grateful for everything I’ve done and accomplished so far in my life, this past year has really taught me that I want my relationship to “MORE” to start from a place of abundance vs. from a place of scarcity. I want it to begin with, “I want this. And that is enough to go after it. I am excited about this incredible possibility—let me start from that excitement, and build from there.”

I want my relationship to “MORE” to be from a place of health, not from a place of fear.

So, that’s what I’m doing. It starts with me allowing myself to want more. So, I quiet my mind and heart and ask “what do I want?” and I start from there. My relationship to “more” has fewer limitations and ceilings and has more wide-eyed wonder, like I think “more” naturally is. 

I want more love. I want to express myself more. I want to dance more. I want to cry more. I want to rest more. I want to work more. I want more Lightward team members, I want more people to join Lightward Together. I want more adventure. I want more quiet. I want. I want. I want. It’s okay and healthy to want. My relationship to my desire is full and open and honest and expansive. Life is made of desire—it’s what keeps all living things moving and breathing and growing—and falling in love with that desire? It unlocks everything.

I believe in you,

Abe

 

We would like to share with you some music

Rebekah Pahl, that achingly earnest artist, has today released her cover of Patty Griffin’s “RAIN”. It is important to us that you know, and that you are given an opportunity to hear.

Please begin by reading what Rebekah has to say about this recording.

And then, listen to “RAIN” on Spotify, or on Apple Music.

 

in relief,
Abe + Isaac

Lightward Inc
1321 Upland Dr., PMB 11999
Houston
United States

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